Prevent Temper Tantrums in Your Child

Kids will get upset and have trouble controlling their emotions, but it is possible to prevent it from developing into a full blown tantrum. Try these three ways to prevent temper tantrums in your child.

1. Practice Attachment Parenting

Infants who are carried a lot and whose cues are sensitively responded to are more mellow, less prone to tantrums, and are able to ride the waves of emotional upsets without falling apart so drastically. Because they operate from an inner peace, they are less prone to impulsive behavior or angry outbursts. Children who are parented with less attachment are less able to recover from emotional storms. Attached parents can read their child so well that they naturally create conditions that prevent temper tantrums. Practice as many of the attachment styles of parenting as you can, as often as you can. Making it easier to prevent temper tantrums is one of the immediate payoffs of attachment parenting.

2. Minimize the Triggers

Tantrums usually occur at the worst time for parents: you are on the phone, at the supermarket, busy with your agenda. The very circumstances that make a tantrum inconvenient for you are what set the toddler up for a tantrum. Wise parents avoid situations that lead to emotional overload in their children. Keep a tantrum diary, noting what sets your child off. Is he bored, tired, sick, hungry, or overstimulated? Prepare a behavior chart to help you analyze what you know and observe about your child. You may discover that tantrums occur most often before naptime or bedtime, or when parents are busy making dinner. When you discover an effective technique to prevent temper tantrums, use it again.

Even with your best efforts, tantrums will still erupt from time to time. Try to diffuse them early. Know your toddler's pre-tantrum signs — body language that signals the coming storm. In parenting the tantrum-prone child you must learn to strike a balance, knowing when to stand by and let the child work through the difficulty on her own, and when to intervene. Be careful not to protect your child from ever being frustrated — a child will not learn how to solve problems unless he has problems.

3. Know Your Anger Buttons

Some toddlers' behaviors push parents' anger buttons a lot, and some parents have very sensitive buttons. The combination of the tantrum-prone child and a parent with a short fuse is at risk for major conflicts. You'll learn quickly how a mature response to your child's tantrum can mean the difference between your child raging totally out of control and your child being normally frustrated. Prevent temper tantrums by identifying which behaviors cause you to blow easily. Assess how you react to your toddler. If you regress to tantrum behavior yourself, seek professional help to get your buttons reset.

Child Behavior Chart

Use a behavior chart to track patterns. Some examples of what you may find:

• My child behaves best when: I'm attentive, she's well-rested, she's held in a sling, she's busy.

• My child behaves worst when: shopping in the afternoon, I'm too busy for too long, there's too much commotion, she's bored.