Phones and tablets are not automatically evil — it's not all just mindless consumption of frivolous content. A lot of teaching and creativity can happen on the devices. Kids are learning to open online businesses with distribution channels and social media marketing plans. It's also how people connect with each other now. But when a person's interaction with the real world gets compromised, there is a problem. Here's the approach one family took: instead of complaining about all the time kids spent on phones, they identified just a few important times it would be good to be OFF the phone, and the rest of the day was up to them — a win-win.

The 8 Screen Time Rules

1. No Phones in the Car (Unless Trip Goes Over 20 Minutes)

"What!?!? But I'm going to be bored!" was the kids' reply. And it turns out that it's not only okay to be bored sometimes — it's actually good for you. Our brains spend most of the day being bombarded with information constantly. But for true creativity and maturing of the mind, it's massively important to take some time to listen to the information coming OUT of our brains. Take some time to sit and daydream, listen to your own thoughts, let your mind wander. The result: some amazing, in-depth discussions with young teens, and a bunch of silly chatter too — about family vacation plans, friends at school, life. A 10-15 minute car ride is probably the ONLY time you and your kids/teens are in each other's presence without any distractions.

2. Movies and Shows Are Watched on the Big Screen, Not the Phone or Tablet

Extended staring at a tiny screen from nine inches away is tremendously bad for the eyes. When the eyes are looking at something close-up, they are in convergence (cross-eyed) and that puts a strain on the ocular muscles and focusing mechanisms. High-energy blue light from the screen can also damage the cells of the retina — many experts are predicting a big increase in macular degeneration as this generation gets older. Keeping streaming apps on the home television also helps monitor what children are watching and promotes watching shows together as a family.

3. Mealtime Is a No Phone Zone

When sitting at the table — especially when out to eat — phones are collected and put in a little stack together (out of sight) so no one is tempted to sneak a peek under the table. Numerous studies show great things happen when a family shares meals together. A great conversation tool: "best/worst" — ask "What was the best part of the day?" followed by "What was the WORST part of the day?" Kids will often share about any struggles they're having, and it turns into a meaningful moment of mutual family support.

4. Phones Go Away One Hour Before Bedtime

A study of kids aged 8-17 found that TV or video game use at bedtime resulted in 30 minutes less sleep. Kids who used a phone or computer at bedtime slept a whole hour less than those who did not. Before this rule, many kids had a hard time falling asleep. High-energy blue wavelength light from screens also suppresses melatonin (the sleeping hormone). After the rule: kids actually read books and relax their brains. The phrase "I can't fall asleep" was heard no more.

5. Grades Drop = Phone Is Gone

With the ability to go online and see every test or quiz score and any homework not turned in, the moment one of the kids falls behind, the phone goes away. Again and again, there is a massive improvement in motivation to study when the phone is missing. Beyond a correlation between less phone time and better grades, there is also a very obvious increase in interaction and awareness of what is going on around them: more conversations with family members, noticing things in the environment, and even a better overall attitude.

6. When Phones Are ON, Use Them to Promote Family Togetherness

When not in one of the No Phone Zones, families can be on their phones a lot — and that's okay. Show each other funny videos and share in family laughs. Follow all the kids' social media accounts. See and comment on their posts. See who they are following and who follows them. Instead of fighting against their social network, be a part of it. It's a great insight into their lives. Be "friends" with their friends.

7. Phone Safety

Know all the passwords and check phones regularly. Kids should know that if they change the password without telling parents, and the phone cannot be accessed, the phone is gone for a week. The full discussion of keeping children safe while online is broad, but many precautions can be taken to ensure kids don't get into trouble.

8. Have an Occasional Unplugged Weekend

Every few months, take a whole weekend, collect all the phones, remotes, game consoles, and tablets and have an unplugged weekend — no electronics. Kids may moan about boredom at first, but soon discover activities they had forgotten: Frisbee in the park, board games, card games, outdoor adventures. After one family's first unplugged weekend, their son learned to play Backgammon and several new card games, and began regular trips to the park with his dad to throw a disc. Family card games became a frequent tradition. "I highly encourage families to occasionally do this. Have a stack of fun games or crafts ready. But even if you don't plan a single activity, you will end up having fun, I promise!"

No More Phone Arguments

It's been a relief not hearing "Put the phone down" seven hundred times a day anymore. Everyone in the family feels a lot of relief with the new guidelines. The kids know when the phone isn't allowed, and that they won't be bothered about it at other times. As parents, it's reassuring to know that some good family time each day is guaranteed, while still allowing kids to press on into the new digital age.